Section 7: Building Structure, Autonomy, and Daily Routines at Home

Your house isn’t a classroom. It’s the first operating system lab.

Before a child can generalize routines or skills in school, they must first learn how they operate at home — the most consistent and emotionally charged environment in their life.

Autonomy doesn’t mean doing everything alone. It means having the language and structure to participate with purpose.

Why Routine Builds Regulation and Trust

Autistic nervous systems love patterns — but only patterns they understand.

When a child doesn’t know what’s coming, how long it lasts, or what comes next, their system goes into “unknown = unsafe” mode.

This can trigger:

• Resistance or shutdowns

• Anxiety-based meltdowns

• Obsessive repetition or stimming

• Physical aggression toward others or self

Your job isn’t to eliminate these behaviors. It’s to create a map that helps reduce how often they’re triggered.

Start With Visual Routines for Core Tasks

Use picture cards, hand-drawn icons, real photos, or apps like Choiceworks.

Routine	Visual Steps
Getting Dressed	1. Underwear → 2. Pants → 3. Shirt → 4. Socks → 5. Shoes
Brushing Teeth	1. Wet brush → 2. Paste → 3. Brush top/bottom → 4. Rinse
Going Outside	1. Socks → 2. Shoes → 3. Jacket → 4. Open door
Transitioning	“All done” → Visual timer → Break card → First/Then board

Each card should include:

• A clear image

• The English word

• The ASL sign (illustration or label)

Repeat routines until they become motor memory.

Use the First/Then System Daily

“First clean up. Then snack.” “First potty. Then park.”

💡 This system:

• Builds cause/effect logic

• Supports executive function

• Reinforces visual-sequenced thinking

• Encourages participation over resistance

Place First/Then boards in key locations (bathroom, kitchen, backpack area).

Give Control Where Possible

The more your child feels involved, the less they’ll resist. Use visual choice boards with 2–3 options:

• Which shirt?

• Which snack?

• Which sensory break?

• Where to sit?

Letting a Deaf+ child choose between two approved options is how we build yes-based discipline and language-centered cooperation.

Daily Check-In Visuals

Many children with autism have trouble identifying internal states.

Build a daily body check visual board:

• Hungry / Not Hungry

• Tired / Awake

• Mad / Happy / Confused / Scared

• Pain Map (head, stomach, teeth, legs, ears)

Teach the signs for each emotion and practice pairing them with body sensations using mirrors, puppets, or your own face.

Use Characters to Build Understanding of Emotion and Zones

Visual regulation systems like Zones of Regulation can be made Deaf+ accessible by using familiar characters:

Zone	Feeling	Mario Character Example
Green	Ready, calm, happy	Mario (focused, friendly)
Yellow	Silly, nervous	Luigi (anxious, hesitant)
Red	Angry, out of control	Bowser / Wario (fiery, explosive)
Blue	Sad, tired, sick	Toadette (slowed, sleepy)

Use matching color cards with characters, signs, and English words. Place near calm spaces, play areas, and beds.

Build In Regulation Routines Throughout the Day

Morning	Bounce, stretch, deep pressure hugs, sign “WAKE,” “HAPPY,” “START”
Midday	Body check visual, movement break, fidget bin, chewies
Evening	Slow swings, compression massage, “ALL DONE” visual, mirror signs

Have a calm space that is never used for punishment. It should be accessible, soft, sensory-supportive, and always offered — not forced.

Use Consistent Signs and Touchpoints

Signs to repeat throughout the day:

• FIRST / THEN

• HELP / STOP / WAIT / GO

• HURT / TIRED / MAD / ALL DONE

• MORE / FINISH / EAT / SLEEP

💡 Place these signs on:

• Fridge

• Bathroom wall

• Bedroom mirror

• Calm corner

• Communication binder

Consistency builds clarity. Clarity builds safety. Safety builds connection.